Denied - Day 15

The past two days have been intense for me, I have had a lot of alone time at home by myself and decided to indulge in some pornography.  So I have been getting my self all worked up and horny as fuck wanting to jack off so fucking bad.  Even though the temptation keeps running through my mind, I'm some how keeping a solid mind set of not ejaculating.

The other day I got myself so worked up that I tried hooking up with my gay roommate.   I just wanted to suck his dick so fucking bad.  I guess I'm just becoming very desperate in the fact that I need some cock since mine is locked up.

He was siting on the couch watching TV, and I sat down next to him.  I started kissing his neck and then we started making out.  Next thing I know I'm rubbing his hard cock through his pajama pants.  I started to get really hard and my cage filled up.  Then he grabbed for my cock and felt my caged cock longing to be set free.  Instantly when he felt the cage he backed away and we stopped everything.  I think it totally freaked him out. I think he thinks that I'm weird for being into chastity.  It didn't exactly work out as I planned in my head, and afterwords it made me feel like a freak.  I got really depressed afterwords and thought about taking off the CB all together and forgetting this whole experiment.  Being denied like that really brought me back to when I my old master use to play with me in orgasm denial only a few months ago.  The feeling was the same, but the feeling was different, because I know that my roommate doesn't give two shits about me and could care less weather I cum or not.  My ex-Master would deny me on purpose and it would make me feel good. My roommate denied me and made me feel like crap.

Even though my spirits were brought down I'm still horny as fuck and still want to keep this CB on until my new Adopt-a-Cage CB comes.  People just suck sometimes!  I'm still considering him holding my new key for my new CB if he is still up for it which I'm amusing he will since he signed  papers stating that he would.

A Male Chastity Perspective

After achieving 29 days without an orgasm I feel that I have beat the sexual daemon within me.  I now see the world in a light.  My Master let me watch some porn and to my amazement I didn't even get hard.  I wasn't even interested in watching it.  Testing my mind I even tried to get into it, but I just couldn't achieve that mind state of thinking pornography was hot.  The funny thing was that when I was watching the pornography I saw these hot guys achieving orgasm after orgasm.  I thought to myself that they were slaves and I myself was free from the longing of orgasm.  My mind filled with happiness and an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment hit me!

I felt as if I had unlocked the secrets of life while watching pornography.  I was watching these guys thinking they were free, when in reality they were all slaves to the male orgasm.  Slaves to their penis's every will.  Me, I was free from the thoughts of having an orgasm anymore.  I didn't desire one, and hoped that I would never have another.  I didn't want to become addicted to the feeling of achieving orgasm.  I liked being chaste, and felt grateful that my Master had let me achieve this amazing state of mind.

As I went about my day I looked at all the guys walking around with their girlfriends.  I thought about all these straight guys were all in slaved by the same ideas and concepts of achieving orgasm.  Everything they did with their girlfriends walking around, holding hands, kissing.  All that they were giving these girls were lies.  All they truly wanted to do was for the girls to help them achieve orgasm.  It was the truth, I saw the snake in the grass all around me.  That sex daemon lurking in the back of all these testosterone loaded guys minds.  I felt so sorry for them, so guilty that I was once like them.  That I was lost in the trance of orgasm.

So, what have I achieved?  Ever since I have become chaste I have been using my time differently.  Where I would usually be watching porn and jacking off, I now had this empty time slot in my daily routine.  I didn't know what to do with it, so I set the outlet to painting.  Painting calmed me down, brought the world down into the minute details of the paint, and the paintbrush.  I never even knew that I was such a horrible painter, but I didn't care I enjoyed it and hope to get better.  Instead of achieving this useless orgasmic state, I now was achieving skills in painting.  After I finish my canvas I hope to start something new themed with my new perspective on life.  I'll get an image of it up once my second master peace is finished.

Orgasim Denial Memories

An amazing physiological affect of male chastity is the way human brains remembers the moment while in chastity.  I haven’t read anything else on the internet about other guys having this experience, but it happens to me every time.   If it has happened to you or you have achieved this state of mind before please let me know, I would love to post your experience on my blog for others to read.

When my boyfriend teases me to the point of orgasm, but never lets me achieve an orgasm it turns me on so much.  Once our session is done, and he feels that I have been teased enough, he puts back on the chastity device and I continue the week, or month without orgasm.  During that time I constantly have flashes of what had happened to me.  The memories of the sessions, and the teasing stay with me as a fresh memory that is constantly there in the back of my mind.  When I use to orgasm everyday or ever other day, I would always forget the sex act after orgasm and the memory would just fade away over time.  Now with orgasm denial, I can always remember in extreme detail of every kiss, every touch and every stroke of my cock.  

The memory of the temporary pleasures stays with me until another orgasm denial session starts.  Then the most recent memory replaces the old one.  These memories are strong, enjoying thinking about and sexy.  I never had these echo memories drive me crazy or anything.  It’s just that they are the most detailed memories I have ever encountered in my mind that are pleasurable.  So when my boyfriend teases me and denies me orgasm he knows that I somehow hold on to the memories of the moment, and he tries to make them as memorable as possible.  

When it comes to getting my boyfriend off locked in chastity, the memories come and go as any other memory.  There is no lingering of the memory, or extraordinary detail.  It’s only when my boyfriend gives me all the attention, ties me up, teases me, or removes my chastity device and brings me to the brink of orgasm.  That moment of almost ejaculating somehow engraves that memory and moment in so much detail, it’s almost hard to explain.  The pure frustration, of not being able to ejaculate, having no control just brings the mind to this un-explainable experience of mind and body realization.